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Connect & Grow Magazine: Issue 14 October - November 2024
If you either have a diagnosis of autism or ADHD or simply acknowledge that you have some neurodivergent traits, you may find socialising challenging. Often, it is the jokes that a literal person will not understand, and this can be isolating. The other thing that can occur is oversharing. It is not an intentional overshare of information by the person. It is the person giving the other person in the conversation all the details to ensure they have the whole story; having said that, this can take time and often, people start to lose interest.
Often, individuals with neurodivergent traits thrive when conversations get straight to the point, as clarity helps maintain their focus and interest.
For instance, when someone shares a recent holiday in Italy, a listener with neurodivergent traits might offer a related comment about Italy to connect, demonstrating their understanding rather than taking over the discussion. Unfortunately, these well-intentioned responses can sometimes be misinterpreted. Additionally, as the storyteller describes their experiences, the neurodivergent listener may seek to grasp the relevance of the tale. In cases where they find none, their attention may wane, prompting them to ask questions that could seem out of place, though their goal is to understand the story's significance. With time, they can learn that sharing about a joyous experience, like a holiday, often carries the pure intent of connection and joy, enriching the conversation for everyone involved.
While many people can be polite, listen, and pretend to be interested in what others are sharing, a person who is neurodivergent will often struggle with this. There is also the potential for them to overshare. This is part of ensuring you have all the information and can demonstrate to others in the conversation that they are listening and doing their best to connect. It can be challenging to find the balance.
Occasionally, a neurodivergent person will mask to fit in at the end of the event or even at some point during the event; their energy level will decrease, and this is when they may start to feel exhausted and potentially emotionally or ready to leave. Masking is exhausting for the neurodivergent, and it is not easy.
There are a few strategies to help you feel comfortable and attend social events. As we know, we are expected to participate in social events.
8 Steps to Make Socialising Easier for those who are Neurodivergent
The key thing to remember is that we are all different, and the more we can be ourselves, the easier it becomes to be understood and embraced for who we are. In the meantime, these 8 steps/strategies may help you in social settings.
1. Choose Comfortable Settings: Opt for safe and familiar environments. Quiet cafes or small gatherings can be less overwhelming than large parties.
2. Prepare Topics in Advance: Jot down a few conversation starters or topics you feel comfortable discussing. Having these ready can ease anxiety about what to say.
3. Set Time Limits: Decide in advance how long you plan to stay. Knowing there's a defined end can help reduce stress and make socialising feel more manageable.
4. Use Breaks Wisely: If you start feeling overwhelmed, take short breaks. Step outside for fresh air or find a quiet corner to regroup; it can help reset your mind.
5. Practice Active Listening: Focusing on what others are saying can help relieve the pressure to come up with responses. Asking follow-up questions can also keep the conversation flowing.
6. Find Like-Minded Groups: Find communities or clubs that align with your interests. Engaging with people who share common passions can make interactions feel more natural and enjoyable.
7. Attend an event with someone else: Having someone who knows you well attend the event with you can help you with the social cues you may miss can be helpful. For you
8. Be YOU: You are amazing, and while you may not understand a lot of people and their thoughts and opinions, and they may not understand you, it's important to be you. Masking may be required on some occasions; however, the less you need to mask, the less energy you may require during the event.
By incorporating these steps, socialising can become a more positive experience!
Written by
Jacqui Grant
Neurodiversity in the Workplace
If you are a business and would like to understand Neurodiversity in the Workplace, we have a book and opportunities to book Jacqui to come to your workplace and speak with your staff.
To learn more, visit our website: Neurodiversity Training and Consultations.
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Disclaimer: All information is accurate at the time of publication and subject to change